A Selection of “Rules-of-Thumb” for Living a Good Life
On General Life Advice
The Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.
The Rule of the Hun: He who has the gun makes the rules.
Formula for Failure: Try to please everybody.
Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong – at the worst possible time, and in the worst possible way.
Burke’s Update on Murphy: Even if it can’t go wrong, it will.
O’Toole’s Commentary on Murphy: Murphy was an optimist.
I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live my life for the sake of another man, nor ask another to live for the sake of mine.
– Ayn Rand, (John Galt), Atlas Shrugged, Part Three, Chapter I.
The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
– Unknown source.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
– Lao Tzu, Chapter 64 of the Dao De Jing
Life is tough! But it is tougher if you’re stupid!
– Sgt. John Stryker (John Wayne) in “Sands of Iwo Jima”.
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
– John Wooden, American basketball coach 1910 – 2010
Politeness costs nothing, and often pays dividends.
– Nathan Lowell in “To a Fire Called (A Seeker’s Tale from the Golden Age of the Solar Clipper Book 2)” Ariel Felder spoken to Baldry.
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
– Maurice Switzer, in “Mrs. Goose, Her Book” Forgotten Books, 1906/2015
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
– Dr. Seuss, from “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”, Random House Books for Young Readers (March 1 1990)
It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
– Source unknown, but often attributed to Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens 1835 – 1910)
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
– Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903) in ‘Essays’ (1891) vol. 3 ‘State Tamperings with Money and Banks’
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
– Socrates, paraphrased from Plato’s Apology
One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not.
– Alexandre Dumas, from the “Grand Dictionnaire Universel du XIXe Siècle” (Great Universal Dictionary of the Nineteenth Century) circa 1865.
Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know. And if one looks throughout the history of our country and other free countries, it is the latter category that tends to be the difficult one.
– Donald Rumsfeld, as recorded in “Defense.gov News Transcript: DoD News Briefing February 12, 2002.
Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.
– Lemony Snicket in “A Series of Unfortunate Events” (13 Book Series)
It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.
– Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869 – 1948), Indian lawyer, anti-colonial nationalist, political leader, and political ethicist who advocated nonviolent resistance.
When your wife starts a sentence with . . . . “When you get a chance . . . .”
Just go ahead and start putting your shoes on .
She means now!!
– Anonymous
Racists, sexists and bullies have very thin skins.
Feel free to offend them.
If they get upset, you’re doing a good and necessary job.
– Anonymous
On Government
It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong.
– Thomas Sowell in “Wake up, Parents”, Jewish World Review, 18 August 2000.
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.
– Peter Stone for the character of John Adams in the 1969 musical, “1776”.
If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
– Mark Twain, attributed, but I can find no authoritative source.
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
– Winston Churchill – Robert Rhodes James, ed., Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches 1897-1963 (New York, Bowker, 1974, 8 vols.
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
– George Bernard Shaw, Everybody’s Political What’s What? (1944) ch. 30
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
– G. Gordon Liddy, American lawyer in Watergate scandal 1930 As quoted in “The Best of The Rest: 20 More Quotes About Liberals” at Right Wing News (24 November 2010)
Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
– James Bovard, in Lost Rights: The Destruction of American Liberty (1994). “Conclusion” (p. 333)
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
– P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian in Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government, Grove Press (1991) pp. xviii-xix.
Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
– Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850), in his 1848 essay “Government”
Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
– Ronald Reagan, Remarks to State Chairpersons of the National White House Conference on Small Business, August 15, 1986
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
-Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique (1764)
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
-Winston Churchill, House of Commons, 22 October 1945
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
– President Gerald R. Ford is on record using it in an address to a joint session of Congress on August 12, 1974. Original origin is unknown.
What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
– Dr. Adrian Rogers, (1931 – 2005) American Southern Baptist pastor and conservative author.
The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
– Ronald Reagan, March 1965 speech to the California Republican Assembly.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
– Generally attributed to Aesop, Greek slave & fable author (620 BC – 560 BC)
Religious Belief
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.
– Blaise Pascal, Pensées (“Thoughts”) a collection of fragments written by the French 17th-century philosopher and mathematician.
Pray: (v.) To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.”
– Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary
Miscellaneous
Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
– Douglas Case, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University.
If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labeled a radical 60 years ago, a liberal 30 years ago and a racist today.
– Thomas Sowell, Controversial Essays, Hoover Press (2nd Edition), 2002.
It is amazing how many people think that they can answer an argument by attributing bad motives to those who disagree with them. Using this kind of reasoning, you can believe or not believe anything about anything, without having to bother to deal with facts or logic.
– Thomas Sowell, in “Random Thoughts”, Townhall, December 2004.
Some Collected Aphorisms
The Ten Cannots
= ex-clergyman William J. H. Boetcker in a 1916 booklet called “Inside Maxims, Gold Nuggets Taken From the Boetcker Lectures”, which later became known as the “Ten Cannots”.
1 You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
2 You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
3 You cannot help little men by tearing down big men.
4 You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
5 You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
6 You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.
7 You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
8 You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.
9 You cannot build character and courage by destroying men’s initiative and independence.
10 You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they can and should do for themselves.
The Notebook of Lazarus Long
= Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long is a 1978 collection of aphorisms by Robert Heinlein’s main character, “Lazarus Long”, excerpted from his 1973 novel Time Enough for Love. The aphorisms were originally published as two “Intermission” sections in the novel.
All men are created unequal.
If you don’t like yourself, you can’t like other people. If you are at peace with yourself, you are at peace with the world.
You will never be free until you learn to do your own thinking and gain the courage to act on your own personal initiative.
Intelligence recognizes no limitations except those we impose on ourselves.
Intelligence is the only infinite resource – the more you use, the more you’ll find you have.
Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
The only person on whom you can depend in times of adversity is yourself.
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
Everything in excess!! To enjoy the flavour of life, take big bites. Moderation is for Monks.
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil. Being generous is inborn, being altruistic is a learned perversity. No resemblance. If tempted by something that feels “altruistic”, examine your motives and root out that self-deception. Then if you still want to do it, revel in it.
The greatest productive force in the world, is simple human selfishness.
All things are possible to the person who believes they are possible.
Persistence will always pay off.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again ….. then give up. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.
Optimism is a firm belief that you can make things come out right by thinking ahead and deciding on a course of action based on sound judgement.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
Try to have getaway money – but don’t be frantic about it.
It isn’t the mountains ahead that will grind you down. Its the grain of sand in your shoe.
It isn’t what you do that counts, it is what people think you do.
It isn’t what you know that counts, it’s what you think of in time.
Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind, it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate, and quickly.
Never appeal to a man’s “better nature”. He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.
Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect.
Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.
Always listen to the experts. They will tell you what can’t be done, and why. Then go do it!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrong.
Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you when things go wrong.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors – and miss.
Never tell a lie — unless lying is one of your strong points.
Be thankful for the Fools. But for them, the rest of us could not succeed.
Money might not buy happiness, but it will surely pay for a great research program to study the problem.
Money might not buy happiness, but it sure makes misery a lot more tolerable.
Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
Risk comes from not knowing what you are doing. Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a cage. Homo Sapiens is the only animal that voluntarily does this to himself.
If the world is ever going to be saved, it will be by someone too young to have learned it is impossible.
All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury, or folly which can – and must – be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal social ethic, no other basis is possible. Attempts to formulate a “perfect society” on any other foundation than “Women and Children First” is not only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Never the less, starry eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly – and no doubt will keep on trying.
Idealism increases in direct proportion to one’s distance from the problem.
Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded – here and there, now and then – are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty.
“No man is an island!” Much as we may feel and act as individuals, our race is a single organism, always growing and branching – which must be pruned regularly to be healthy. This necessity need not be argued, anyone with eyes can see that any organism which grows without limit always dies in its own poisons. The only rational question is whether pruning is best done before or after birth.
The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled, and those who have no such desire. The former are idealists, acting from the highest motives for the greatest good of the greatest number. The latter sort are surly curmudgeons, suspicious and lacking in altruism. But they are more comfortable neighbors than the other sort.
By the data to date, there is only one animal dangerous to man – man himself. So he must supply his own indispensable competition. He has no enemy to help him.
If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the elite would have kept it all to themselves.
A swelled head doesn’t always indicate an excess of brains.
The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa.
If it can’t be expressed in figures, it is not science, it is opinion.
Most “scientists” are bottle washers and button pushers.
A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an “intellectual” — find out how he feels about Astrology.
One man’s “magic” is another man’s engineering. “Supernatural” is a null word.
History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.
The most preposterous notion that Man has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnibenevolent, Shaper and Ruler of All the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all of history.
One man’s theology, is another’s belly laugh.
Men rarely, if ever, manage to dream up a God superior to themselves. Most gods have the morals and manners of a spoiled child.
“God split himself into myriad parts that he might have friends and not be lonely.” This may not be true, but it sounds good – and is no sillier than any other theology.
The profession of shaman has many advantages. It offers high social status with a safe livelihood free of work in the dreary sweaty sense. In most societies it offers legal privileges and immunities not granted to other men. But it is hard to see how a man who has been given a mandate from on High to spread tidings of joy to all mankind can be seriously interested in taking up a collection to pay his salary. It causes one to suspect that the shaman is on the moral level of any other con man. But its lovely work if you can stomach it.
Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.
A relevant selection from the 285 Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
= Deep Space Nine (Star Trek Universe) episode: “The Nagus”
= The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, by Ira Steven Behr, Pocket Books, 1995 ISBN: 978-0671529369
3 Never pay more than you have to.
6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
8 Small print leads to large risk.
10 Greed is Eternal.
13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
45 Never confuse wisdom with luck.
58 There is no substitute for success.
59 Free advice is seldom cheap.
60 Keep your lies consistent.
62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit. Corollary: No risk = no reward.
76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
85 Never let the competition know what you’re thinking.
97 Enough . . . is never enough!
106 There is no honour in poverty.
109 Dignity and an empty sack . . . is worth the sack.
121 Everything is for sale. Even friendship.
Caution: The price is often not obvious.
218 Always know what you’re buying.
236 You can’t buy Fate.
284 Deep down, everyone’s a Ferengi.
285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.
